When I first met my husband I knew without a doubt that THIS was the man I was supposed to marry. I knew the timing wasn’t right and there was going to be a waiting process to our dating season but I wanted to document this time and write him love letters. Yes, I am a total hopeless romantic. So I went to our local Christian Bookstore and bought a journal. On it was a picture of a horse and this verse:
“…And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:1-2 New International Version (NIV)
At the time I did not realize the magnitude of this verse and how it was going to end up being a verse I have held on to.
Becoming a wife and stepmom all at once has been a challenge. Think back to when you first got married and how once you moved in together there were little things you still had to learn and little disagreements happened… well add learning to be an immediate mom of three on top of that, yep you get it now.
We as a family have gone through a lot in our 9 months of being a family. We have learned to have patience and endurance as we walked out the process of custody and safety of the kids. As a new stepmom trying to navigate this road, I found myself crying on the bathroom floor and screaming while alone in my car a time or two. I knew in these moments I had to have strength unlike any other… For my new Husband who needed his partner. For my step kids who needed a voice. It was a choice, I could have easily given up and chose to lay in my bed all day with the blankets over my head…Trust me, the thought crossed my mind a time or two. Instead, I had endurance and patience and choose to not let our circumstances bring us down. We all have decisions and trials we face on a daily basis, some are far more trying than others. The way I see it, there are two choices when being faced with trials – you can give up or keep on pushing through in a way that shows your character. When put in these trying times do you react badly and blame everyone in your life? Or, hold on to the good, have a positive outlook, and know that you are bigger than your circumstances.
My childhood pastor called it Hupomone.
Hupomone: steadfastness, constancy, endurance
- in the New Testament the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and sufferings
- patiently, and steadfastly
- a patient, steadfast waiting for
- a patient enduring, sustaining, perseverance
He was the epitome of that word as he walked out his season of battling cancer.
I can think of a few people in my life who have had the unthinkable happen and yet they chose to walk out that season with endurance, patience, and faith. For my friends who have been a shining example of what Hupomone is: from losing a baby and struggling with fertility to having your husband die and trying to navigate life as a widow and those fighting all the little struggles in between, thank you for being an example while you walked out your season of struggle.
If you feel like you are in a season of despair I would encourage you to talk to someone reach out for help, message me and share your heart. I am just a text away.
Until next time!